#DireDay – A Most Miserable Friday the 13th

If you are reading this post, you are in a most unfortunate predicament. Today, is Friday the 13th, after all – a most #DireDay thanks to Lemony Snicket. Today is the day when books shall fall from the sky and ruin your perfect little lives.

Yesterday, my misery unfolded when the morbid UPS truck stopped at my house. My doorstep withered at the sight of three dire boxes sitting seemingly peacefully by my door.

BEHOLD THE MISERY.

THREE TIMES THE MISERY
DIRE INDEED
And the letter from the horrible man himself.
Here they are in all their dreadful glory
at the Arlington Library

Of course, I was under the dire need to get rid of these books as fast as I could, to remove myself from such a horrible circumstance of unlucky books inside my poor house.

And so, on Friday the 13th of July, I left with my poor father and sister and searched high and nigh for a place to dispose of the 96 books claiming to be THE BAD BEGINNINGS. I went to the local dentist. They closed their doors and hid in their homes out of fear of this Dire Day. I went to my local doctor but he fled his office and disappeared lest he should be a part of such despair.

But of course, my local library was not so lucky. I was able to dump the despicable books on their counters and left before one of those miserable books made it back into my poor car.

So much misery at the library. Woe is them.

And I left them for the poor children of my city. If they know what is best for them, they won’t set foot near the miserable books.

Oh, poor, poor children

I beg you not to visit this park

What a horrible day indeed! But if you are like many, and don’t care about the misery and dread and despair that will follow when you pick up one of these books, by all means, go ahead. But don’t say I didn’t warn you!

On behalf of Lemony Snicket himself, I wish you all a very, very, #DireDay this fine Friday the 13th. Good day. And good riddance.

And stay away from me. After all, misery loves company.

Hafsah

Hafsah Faizal is a YA author, designer, and blogger. Her designs have graced the sites of New York Times bestselling authors, bloggers, and more. She resides in Texas, with her family.

RELATED POSTS

11 Comments

  1. Reply

    Kailia Sage

    July 13, 2012

    THAT.IS.FREAKING.AMAZING. Best Friday ever!

  2. Reply

    Jenni Elyse

    July 13, 2012

    Oh my gosh, how cool is that?! Um, I mean, how dreadful is that! Way to get rid of those quickly!

  3. Reply

    Jean Giardina

    July 13, 2012

    I'm so sad to hear about your terrible day. I'd like to say that this cloud has a silver lining, a phrase which means that a bad situation has a small bit of good hidden inside of it. However, every cloud does not have a silver lining. Most clouds contain only more gray cloud. And usually some rain.

  4. Reply

    Nori

    July 13, 2012

    You are fantastic!

  5. Reply

    Beth S.

    July 14, 2012

    The is so freaking cool! Love it!

  6. Reply

    Carrie at In the Hammock Blog

    July 14, 2012

    Oh my gosh, this is so awesome!! Love it!!

  7. Reply

    Inspired Kathy

    July 15, 2012

    Awesome!! Love it!

  8. Reply

    J.R. Johansson

    July 15, 2012

    WOW! So cool! I bet the kids were so excited…erm terrified at the prospect of so many books. ;-)

  9. Reply

    Rubita

    July 15, 2012

    Clearly, you should be ashamed of yourself! Spreading so much misery will only come back to you threefold.

  10. Reply

    Disincentive

    July 15, 2012

    I'm crying, totally

  11. Reply

    Aylee

    July 16, 2012

    Ha! 96 books?! Shame on you for spreading all of that misery! :P

LEAVE A COMMENT