Story Saturday – To Kill an Arlon

Hey guys! Me again! Follow the previous posts (and/or read the story from the beginning) using this label if you’re interested. And let’s just say that I’m not the best at keeping my writing in present tense, but I do try to fix it. :)

Still I grip my sword, pushing down the waves of fear that try to take over. I glance at Faye, but she’s focusing on the Arlon.

“Help Faye out. I can take it.” Darius says his eyes never leave the Arlon. The Arlon snickers and lunges at him.

Their weapons clang, ringing loudly in the empty dungeon. Both of them are light on their feet, countering each others moves gracefully. Their attacks are fast and precise but the Arlon has the upper-hand.

I pull out a vial and dump the contents over the lock on Faye’s dungeon door, my eyes watching the two of them fight. I hear the door swing open and Faye step up beside me.

Darius swipes at the Arlons middles but the blade passes through. The Arlon laughs again and nicks Darius on his cheek. Blood trickles down the side of his face, and Darius stumbles back clawing at his face. His katanas drop to the ground and he groans. Confusion riddles my mind when he drops to the ground too.

My stomach lurches and rolls. Unordinary weapons had to have an unordinary effect. Darius fumbles with the sword, but manages to stand. I watch as surprise flickers across the Arlon’s face before it roars.

“What is wrong with you?” It growls before attacking him again. Darius blocks the attack but it’s obvious that he’s weak. I take a step forward to help him, but Faye lays her hand on my arm.

“Dove, we need its sword. That’s the only way to kill it. I saw one of them kill another like that.” Faye whispers into my ear. I nod slowly, a small sense of relief blooming inside me, at least there is a way to kill them.

I slip my bag off and hand her the healing vial, motioning at Darius. She takes the vial and I close my eyes, taking in a deep breathe before raising my sword.

Faye starts screaming, bringing his and the Arlons attention to her. The Arlon grunts and moves towards her, and I make my move, hitting my sword hard against the Arlon’s trying to knock it off.

The Arlon smiles when it realizes what I’m trying to do. It brings its weapon towards mine and my arms tremble against the force of the blow.

It raises its weapon again and I wait for a hit that never comes. A meaty hand closes over the Arlon’s weapon and rips it away. And a second later, the Arlon’s weapon slices clean through its middle and cuts my arm.

The Arlon falls and a strangled cry escapes me as a burning sensation makes it way from the cut through my body.

Copyright Asma Faizal


Asma is a cat-loving co-blogger at IceyBooks. She's a 15 year old homeschooler who spends her time blogging (obviously), reading, and whatever else strikes her fancy. She's also a part time pirate and assassin.


1 Comment

  1. Reply

    Jessica L. Brooks (coffeelvnmom)

    June 29, 2013

    ACK! Way to leave us hanging, Asma! Poor Darius! Is it just me, or was Dove shocked at how easy it was for an Arlon to bring him down? Great scene. :)

    Also, you did a great job with tense here! Go Asma! :) There are a few simple typos (breath shouldn't have an “e”, for instance), but I'm sure you and Hafsah can easily fix those. (And don't we all have those in our first drafts anyway?)

    As a reader, here are the two things I would wonder about:

    1) “Darius swipes at the Arlons middles but the blade passes through.” So then, the blade literally went through him/it and nothing happened, yes?

    2) “A meaty hand closes over the Arlon's weapon and rips it away. And a second later, the Arlon's weapon slices clean through its middle and cuts my arm. ” I bet this makes complete sense to you, as you see what you're writing, but I am a little confused. Is the hand taking the weapon away from Dove? If so, are you describing an *Arlon's* hand taking it away? Last, this sentence: “And a second later, the Arlon's weapon slices clean through its middle and cuts my arm.” I'm trying to envision this… but I'm not sure what “its middle” is. The hand? The Arlon? Whose middle? A little more description would paint a better picture for me. :)

    Great job, lady. I am now wondering what on earth they use on their swords that can make everyone drop to their knees! (Not to mention how Dove, Darius and Faye are going to get out of there!)